My success with women hasn’t made me feel more masculine – Return Of Kings

My success with women hasn’t made me feel more masculine – Return Of Kings

I discovered the ‘game’ in 2007, when I was 18 years old. A shy child, I hadn’t been close to my father growing up and was mostly raised by women.

I immediately drank the ‘Kool-aid’ the RSDs of the world seemed to offer – the idea that chasing after lots of women was the key to happiness in life, and that the measure of a man’s success was only not how much money he makes, or his looks, but how many women he could get.

“What’s the point of having money or a great physique,” I thought to myself at the time, “if you can’t sleep with a ton of women.”

And so, off I went, an 18-year-old “lost boy” who had no idea how to be a man, in search of the boost in self-esteem that came from hedonism. Nightclub after nightclub, I thought I had landed on something deep, a cheat code to life. I looked at all the other men who weren’t “playing” — men who were building their careers or religiously eating their meals to build a physique they wanted — and I laughed at them.

I was reasonably “popular” with women during those two years – I had one-night stands, favors returned on me in the back alleys and stuck my tongue in more alcohol and cigarette flavored mouths that I can’t count.

The validation of women was powerful at this point. While I was making bad decisions in other areas of my life, like dropping out of law school and avoiding weightlifting (it’s hard to “lift” three times a week when you drink regularly and smoke chain), I kept telling myself that success with women was the only measure of a man that mattered.

With the amount of sex on offer at the time for guys who knew the “game”, it was hard to break the delirium. Fast forward 11 years, however, and the landscape has changed.

Women are no longer feminine. The little feminine energy that existed in 2007-08 (it was already dwindling then) has indeed evaporated. As I walk around, I see that women have become miserable and angry consumers. Consumers of the latest smartphones and social media, consumers of the latest fashion trends that leave nothing to the imagination and, above all, consumers of men.

Women have the highest expectations of men, but really aren’t ready to offer much themselves. Add to that the fact that we are now in the “MeToo” era (where many women try to ruin a man simply because he does not live up to their high expectations) and it all creates an uninspiring landscape.

Current common standards.

So men must look elsewhere for meaning. Here are some ways I bring that meaning into my own life:

Achieve the best physical condition possible

I am currently reading the book “Sun and Steel” by Yukio Mishima, where he talks about his passion for weightlifting. Mishima argues that although in modern society body and soul have been seen as separate, the reality is the opposite.

The body is the primary expression of who you are in the world; more important than the words you speak or the work you do. Your body is your orchard, your temple; something capable of beautiful creation (bodybuilding) or abject destruction (obesity).

Yukio Mishima.

I find meaning in cultivating my body daily, weekly and getting closer to my ideal view of myself. I also see it as a respect for my ancestors from hundreds of years ago, who must surely have been fitter than most people in modern western society. The feeling of having a physique close to your ideal will give you a lot of satisfaction, and, as Mishima described it, will be a “function of protection against the chaos that surrounds it”.

Get paid to do something you really love, that you can do from anywhere

One thing I don’t understand today is living the corporate life. Waking up at 6 a.m. to get on the train or other public transportation at 7 a.m., only to be in a miserable, spiritually desolate office by 8:30 a.m. Being surrounded by women who wear low cut tops, short dresses and a ton of makeup, only to be easily “offended” and “threatened” if you stare at their exposed flesh so much.

I had a taste of it myself about three years ago, and couldn’t get over it fast enough. It was just unbearable. Men were like caged animals. No wonder they were looking forward to the Friday aperitif at 6:00 p.m.; a time to drown their sorrows and forget their lives.

If you are in this trap, you probably want to escape it. Find something you do really well and work on it. Even if you win less than your 9-5, it’s worth it.

To be internally immune to the degeneration of society

Becoming emotionally and spiritually stronger, even though it may seem ambiguous, is something I take great pride in. In early 2017, I woke up depressed almost every morning, wondering if life was worth living. I hated what was happening in society and the sheer degeneracy of people.

Reading a range of material over the last year or so – spiritual and religious texts, Nietzsche and other philosophers, material on the red pill and novels from today and many generations ago – I began to form a vision of the world that is more in touch with reality than the one that is pushed today. I see the reality of human existence and biology more clearly, and I can make conscious decisions about what to allow in my life and what to avoid.

None of the above would be possible if I was always in the “more daughters I can have, the more meaning my life will have” mode; something many men are experiencing today, whether consciously or unconsciously.

So, stop thinking that today’s women will give you meaning and fulfillment; by all means meet your biological needs, but look deeper within yourself, transcend this generation and this culture, and live in a way that would give you true meaning in any era.

This barren time may seem hopeless, but it is an opportunity to become spiritually, physically, and mentally stronger than you ever imagined.

Read more: Can the ways of Eastern European men inspire us to revitalize Western masculinity?

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