If you’re on this list, congratulations, you’re the worst.

If you’re on this list, congratulations, you’re the worst.

It’s hard to categorize the worst fanbases. It’s like classifying David Spade movies.

Is it the spoiled and petulant fan of the Yankees? Is it the fan base that behaved so badly that there was once a jail in the stadium (if the touchdown doesn’t fit, you have to acquit)? Is this the biggest premier fan base that has ever existed among New York Giants fans? Is it Patriots fans, who think they invented football, despite riding the Tom Brady genome as a jockey at the Preakness? Is this Duke’s basketball fan? The only fanbase that all other fanbases merge like Voltron and agree to hate, like all scientists agree there was a Big Bang.

The fans are the blood of the sport and they should be cherished. Well, most of them. Some of them. A small part of them. Those who are not in prison.

Most fans are great. It’s not those fans.

Fans on this list are the opposite of fan royalty like fans of the Cleveland Browns, Baltimore Orioles, Pittsburgh Steelers, and Green Bay Packers. Or the most underrated fanbase in all of Baltimore Ravens sports.

What is the opposite of class and royalty? The Ted Nugent of fans?

Fans who made this list say “last set, best set” as they practice.

We have fun here. If you have no sense of humor, like a 49ers fan, read elsewhere, unless you’re a Houston Astros fan. In that case, ask someone to read this list to you.

The list is also limited to the United States. We’re bad enough already. No need to drag the whole planet into it. In addition, when a list leaves the United States, immigration gets involved, and that’s where things get complicated.

So, as a Jets fan would write: LET’S GET THE SHUW STARTID.

10. Philadelphia Eagles Fans

It’s more of an emeritus nomination since Eagles fans really aren’t that bad now. Really. It’s actually a pretty good fanbase. Were they once evil? Oh yes. Donovan McNabb’s boos on draft day are one of the all-time worst moments in draft history. And yes, the behavior of Eagles fans was once so bad that they had a prison inside the old stadium. This is first-class fan deception.

However, Santa’s notorious boos are a more complicated story than non-Eagles fans care to admit. Conclusion: Santa Claus deserved it.

9. Notre Dame Football Fans

Haven’t won a national championship in over three decades, but act like they’re in Alabama. In reality, the program is the Mike Dukakis of football. As a 17% Irish person (seriously) this hurts me. Also, Rudy was offside.

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8. University of Texas Football Fans

Suffers from the same symptoms as Irish supporters. They haven’t won a national football title since the 1800s. Or so it seems.

7. Golden State Warriors fans

Few fanbases have come more lately than this. There were 17 Warrior BSC fans, before Steph Curry. Now they’re apparently 20 million and they’ve been fans from the start. They allege.

The two people who were Golden State Warrior fans before the team became a dynasty have been identified.  (The train is not pictured.)

The two people who were Golden State Warrior fans before the team became a dynasty have been identified. (The train is not pictured.)

6. St. Louis Cardinals fans

Did you know they invented the sport of baseball?

5. Red Sox fans

I’ll take it easy with you since you’re probably still struggling with desegregation.

4. Boston Celtics fans

See #5.

3. New England Patriots fans

The truth is, I really love Patriots fans. They’ve seen this franchise grow from one of the most putrid sports to one of the best, and unlike other fans like, say, New York Giants fans, who ignore the team when they lose and run like the Flash to get on that bandwagon when they win, Patriots fans stay with the team.

Patriots fans: Do you know how many Super Bowls we've won?  You do not have?  Let me tell you.  In detail.  Again and again.

Patriots fans: Do you know how many Super Bowls we’ve won? You do not have? Let me tell you. In detail. Again and again.

Putting them here is more about my constitutional duty as an American to recognize how much other fans absolutely despise Patriots fans. They are perhaps the most hated fanbase in the sport. The basic philosophy of Patriots fans is, “We’re awesome, suck it. And stick Deflategate on your —.”

I respect this philosophy of life but I see how very boring it is.

2. Dallas Cowboys fans

Cowboys fans in August: (Saying in front of you) “It’s our year! Back in the Super Bowl!”

Cowboys fans in December after being knocked out of the playoffs: (Said from across the room) “I’m going to change and become an Eagles fan.”

The eternal look of a Cowboys fan at the end of the season after another failed playoff: sadness.  (AP Photo/Roger Steinman)

The eternal look of a Cowboys fan at the end of the season after another failed playoff: sadness. (AP Photo/Roger Steinman)

1. Miami Heat fans

These fans have the honor of owning one of the most unintentionally hilarious moments in fan history. It was June 19, 2013. Game 4 of the final. There are 28.2 seconds left. The San Antonio Spurs are ahead of the Heat by four points. Spurs’ Manu Ginobili heads for the free-throw line.

At that point, Heat fans, who probably arrived 90 minutes late, began to leave the arena. Ginobili makes one of his two free throws. All hell breaks loose after that and the Heat turn the game around, take it to overtime and win.

Heat fans who left desperately tried to return but were locked out.

WPLG’s Victor Oquendo, as noted by Deadspin.com, was there to make sure they weren’t brazen:

Fans go out streaming…I’m going to puke

— Victor Oquendo (@VictorOquendo) June 19, 2013

Honestly embarrassing. I prepare for my live shot outside the arena, watching fan after fan come out early.

— Victor Oquendo (@VictorOquendo) June 19, 2013

Now I watch horrible, drunk, giving up fans, desperately trying to get back. This is madness.

— Victor Oquendo (@VictorOquendo) June 19, 2013

None of them deserve to be admitted. They pound on the glass doors. I am for gender equality but I only see babysitters…

— Victor Oquendo (@VictorOquendo) June 19, 2013

@juanguibeme they are not. It’s absurd. People are screaming about how much money they paid. Really?!

— Victor Oquendo (@VictorOquendo) June 19, 2013

The cops are finally here. Fans are still knocking on doors begging to be let in.

— Victor Oquendo (@VictorOquendo) June 19, 2013

@CarlosWPLG the most pathetic posting I’ve ever seen here.

— Victor Oquendo (@VictorOquendo) June 19, 2013

I was born and raised in Miami. I used to hate the national prospect against Heat fans, but I can’t fight it anymore.

— Victor Oquendo (@VictorOquendo) June 19, 2013

Absolutely classic Miami Heat fan behavior. A well-deserved place at the top.

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: The Worst Fanbases in Sports: Congratulations to These 10 for Being the Worst

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