Busy Philipps and Marc Silverstein quietly split early last year, the actress revealed Friday on her Busy Philipps does her best podcast.
The Girls5eva star and Silverstein, the screenwriter behind He’s just not interested in you, I feel prettywhich he also directed, and no longer married in 2007. They share two children: Birdie, 13, non-binary, and daughter Cricket, 8.
Philipps said after splitting in February 2021, she and Silverstein told family and friends about it, but kept it to themselves publicly. One exception was when Birdie, who was still processing the breakup, talked about it on TikTok.
“Marc and I really wanted to figure out how it was all going to work and what it was going to be like for our family and for our friends and family before we got my public friends involved,” Philipps told co-host Caissie St. Onge. “And there was a big part of me that wanted to talk about it here on the podcast, because you and I do so much processing. But because of the way celebrity culture is and how things are extrapolated, I I just…it was a safer bet than not. You know what I mean? Because the surest way for Marc and I to ensure the privacy of our children that we love so much is to not not involve the public.
Although they haven’t made up their minds yet, they’ve decided to announce that their relationship has changed…and continues to change.
“We’re in a place where we’ve, like, had these many therapy conversations and discussions and all these things, where we decided that it felt like it was a good time for me to at least, like, say it on this podcast,” Philipps said. “I can also talk about how we do it, because it’s a bit different.”
For one thing, she explained, she and Silverstein bought a new house together to be the family home, one where they have individual bedrooms.
“Well, we love each other very much,” she said. “And we have these beautiful kids together, and there’s a lot of things that really worked in our relationship, and the idea that our therapist introduced, that my therapist also introduced… ‘What if you could hold back the things that are working in your relationship, remove the piece or pieces that aren’t and find a way to commit to your children and their stability and really to yourself as well Because, you know, I think any parent tell you, I mean, it’s hard work to do on your own.”
Maintaining a parental partner in the family home, even following the split, was particularly helpful when Philipps fell ill with COVID-19 this month.
“Marc and I kind of come and go staying there with the kids. Sometimes we’re both there. We’ve both been there a lot recently with COVID. It was, like, everyone on the bridge,” the actress said. “And I was so grateful that whatever it was, 10 days, that, like, we did it the way we did, because we could be with our kids and all be together when we were all sick.”
Still, the former couple’s approach to the end of their marriage wasn’t easy.
“Look, it’s not for everyone, and obviously there’s a lot of complications and difficulties in the arrangement sometimes for both of us,” Philipps said. “The trick, obviously, and the point is not to make it something the kids feel or see.”
She noted that while she used the term “divorce,” it didn’t make it official.
“We haven’t even filed anything,” Philipps said. “But we also forgot to get legally married for four months or something, so…I have friends who say, ‘Are you really ever going to get a divorce?’ I’m like, ‘I don’t know. Yes, probably. Probably. I think so. I imagine.'”
The experience reminded her of the mockery Gwyneth Paltrow faced in 2014, when she announced that she and Coldplay frontman Chris Martin had pledged, as they say, to consciously dissociate.
“I feel like sometimes people have this smirk or judgment when they talk about, you know, unconventional ways of… not being in a relationship anymore. And, you know, everyone had like some version of rolling eyes at Gwyneth Paltrow, right, when she started talking about consciously decoupling, but god, it’s great for her to have started talking about the fact that there are so many different ways to evolve in changing relationships. And, like everything, relationships can be living beings. They can change and become different things if you let them.