This is a preview of our pop culture newsletter The Daily Beast’s Obsessed, written by senior entertainment journalist Kevin Fallon. To receive the complete newsletter in your mailbox each week, register here.
- Ben Wishaw, still great!
- Exploding penises, always a surprise!
- Kate Bush ran up that hill, still an athlete!
- Anthony Hopkins loves NFTs, always confusing!
- Video libraries, always nostalgic!
I can’t believe this scene is real
Every once in a while I touch a little Boys. The boys.
A superhero show isn’t usually something I would be on, but I like to be a generalist when it comes to pop culture and sample the show that other demographics (straight people) are on.
Little did I know that this series was apparently made exactly for me.
This is a series that features hot superheroes poking fun at the idea of superheroes (but still being hot and superheroic), along with a huge penis and a tiny climbing naked man mountains of cocaine.
No, a bot purporting to imitate Gay Twitter content did not write this. This is a true description of the plot of the first episode of The boys Season 3, which is by far the craziest thing I’ve ever seen on TV.
I admit that I am prone to hyperbole and superlatives slapped on mediocre entertainment for…fun. But that’s the only time it’s true. It’s actually the craziest thing I’ve ever seen on TV. And just a few months ago, Tommy Lee’s penis came to life and started talking to him.
Here I will write a very simple description of what happens in the premiere of The boys Season 3.
Termite is a superhero whose powers are much like Ant-Man in the Marvel Universe, that is, he shrinks to the size of an insect when strategically placed. During a drug-fueled celebration, her partner says familiar words in a sexual come-on: “I want you inside me.” Termite does a line of cocaine while his partner pulls down his pants and jumps onto the table.
It shrinks to such a small size that it has to jump over coke lines. His partner’s relatively massive penis sits at the ends of the table, the hole at the end resembling a monstrous cavern. “No, that’s not where it’s going…” you think, because it’s going right there.
Termite jumps into the hole and climbs into his partner’s urethra, caving for his prostate.
As he walks through the, uh, tunnel, his partner begins to writhe in pleasure. But then, oh no, Termite sneezes. It comes back to human size… inside the urethra. His partner explodes in blood and guts.
I have, out of journalistic curiosity and for no other reason whatsoever, looked at this screen about 75 times this week. I googled all the articles about it. I learned important things, for example that The boys actually built a giant usable penis that actor Brett Geddes could climb into for the stage. It was 11 feet tall and 30 feet long, so it would appear to scale. Credibility is important.
That’s all to say that The boys is clearly the best TV show.
How tall was Kate Bush’s hill?
Like any old cool millennial, I’ve loved the past few weeks pretending that I’ve always and always been Kate Bush’s biggest fan and definitely listen to her music all the time and am a lifelong obsessive who can certainly name other songs she has sung besides this one in stranger things.
Our generation finally has its moment! I don’t care about you young Gen Z kids and youth who, pitifully, are only now discovering it. I do not care !
The news that “Running Up That Hill” jumped to No. 1 on iTunes thanks to its prime placement in stranger things was really fun. Snark aside, I love it for Kate Bush. You ran up that hill, girl!
He also directed this piece by Rich Juzwiak in Jezebel all the more interesting. In “Going to Number 1 on iTunes Isn’t the Great Achievement It Looks Like”, he explains with data why, well, being number one on iTunes isn’t the great achievement it looks like. It’s a really interesting insight into what the music industry has turned into and how wild and easy spin has become. I recommend reading it!
Anthony Hopkins is in NFTs now
I like to imagine a world where Anthony Hopkins—pardon me, Sir Anthony Hopkins, a British Empire commander knighted by Queen Elizabeth II, sent this tweet (any tweet, really) with his two thumbs.
“I’m amazed by all the great NFT artists,” he wrote. “I’m starting to acquire my first piece, any recommendations?” He then marked the unholy trinity of Snoop Dogg, Jimmy Fallon and Reese Witherspoon, the famous terrorists who inexplicably pimped NFTs at every opportunity. All accompanied by a photo of his character in Westworldsurrounded by faceless, skinless androids waiting to be anthropomorphized – like a metaphor on the nose of a celebrity promoting an NFT scam to the masses, as there may be.
I don’t like the fact that a member of the Hopkins team agreed to some sort of deal to promote NFTs, hands down the dumbest thing to become a capitalist phenomenon in a very long time. It might be the worst mark of fame that ever existed. “We want to prove how hip and cool NFTs are, kids, so here’s Sir Anthony Hopkins to tell you all about it.”
That said, I would pay more than I would pay for an NFT to hear Hopkins stopped in the street, caught off guard, and asked to explain what an NFT actually is. I feel like it’s been ages since I’ve made sense and I really, really still don’t know.
I love this video so much
My 10 year old ass goes to Blockbuster Video every Friday for rent The big green for the 13th time and, I hate to say it, forcing my poor father to agree to own Brotherhood of Traveling Pants when i was in high school because i kept telling him i was going to return it and i never did and the late fees exceeded the purchase price could have cried watching this montage of scenes in video libraries movies.
The supercup was directed by Don McHoull and it’s really good!
What to watch this week:
Queer as Folk: It’s Pride Month. You have to. (Now on Peacock)
For all mankind: Guys, this show is really good. Do it. (Friday on Apple TV+)
Bad: The most deliciously bizarre show on television. (Sun on Paramount+)
What to skip this week:
Jurassic World: Dominion: Apologies to Laura Dern. (Friday in theaters)
The obsessed with the daily beast
Everything we can’t stop loving, hating and thinking about this week in pop culture.